A must for every reading list is the book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck. Brain Pickings writes:
"This illustrates the key difference between the two mindsets — for those with a growth one, “personal success is when you work your hardest to become your best,” whereas for those with a fixed one, “success is about establishing their superiority, pure and simple. Being that somebody who is worthier than the nobodies.” For the latter, setbacks are a sentence and a label. For the former, they’re motivating, informative input — a wakeup call."
This reminds me of James Gleick's signal and noise in "The Information". But mainly it reminds me of Daniel Dennett's book (again). Remember that Impossible about your "self" being similar to a centre of gravity i.e. an abstraction? That was the "static" approach to the self. There's another more dynamic approach that describes the "self" as a centre of narrative gravity. Dennett starts out by writing that a lot of what has happened to us is forgotten and some lot is remembered because, for some reason, it fits us to a t. Then he puts our illusions about a self to rest... indefinitely:
“What you are is that rolling sum of experience and talent, solemn intention and daydreaming fantasy, bound together in one brain and body and called by a given name. The idea that there is, in addition, a special indissoluble nugget of you, or ego, or spirit, or soul, is an attractive fantasy, but nothing that we need in order to make sense of people, their dreams and hopes, their heroism and their sins."
I saw an amazing play - though some lovely people won't agree - once in London called "Let the Right One In" about teen vampires and things. I think the title is so fitting here. You are what you let in, and how often you do so increases the gravity of a given set of experiences. Take theatre courses as a kid for 12 years and see how ingrained confidence becomes in your conception of your "Self". Let the right one in Impossible Family & HAPPY NEW YEAR :D