Edward Norton

Tyler Durden: Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned
___
We are not numbers - We are riders - We are feared and respected - more feared than respected 
We stand high on our rides, chest hair showing, torso bumped - more hair than chest
We are the free electrons of the city - we are the city - our lungs clean its filthy air - our skins capture its heavy metals - more cleaners than riders

We are not numbers
We are legion - No car, no bus, no pedestrian can look us in the eye
Nothing stops us but the time between the moment the light is orange and the moment it goes green
And a sound : Beeeeep

We are not numbers
We are the velib community - but call us the riders
For when we meet each other - in the silent nod we give to the fellow Velibers determined, like us at burning the next red light - we hear it in the silence of that nod - Our day is coming sister / Our day is coming brother

Listen up - The day has come Velibers

___
Tyler Durden: Welcome to Veliber Club:
The first rule of the veliger club is you do not talk about the veliger club
The second rule of the velib club is nobody actually knows about the velib club
the third rule is beat the cars, all the cars - piss the bus driver off - beat the privately owned bike riders no matter what - our pride is in question
the fourth rule is terrorise pedestrians - no pity no mercy
the fifth rule is if it’s your first time on a Velib ride, you won’t even need to know these rules to start applying them
___
To all my velib riding friends, it’s time we teach our fellow citizens what we’ve learned.
Velibs are a metaphor for freedom - The things you own end up owning you. You cannot own life. I’ll never need to own a Velib to enjoy it
Velibs are a metaphor for happiness - Life is not a race - you’ll never beat a car but you’ll enjoy every step of the foolish process to beat it past a red light
Velibs are a metaphor for movement - You gotta keep moving - the second you stop, you fall - You are the master of this ship because You are the engine of this ship
Velibs are a metaphor for life - Life feels heavy like a Velib - until you master it - but the better you get at it, the more your realise how much you suck
Velibs are a metaphor for nothing - Velibs are a not about anything else - Velibs are about Velibs - moment-to-moment magic - this seat you’re on is a the proud invention of the first ecologists - this seat you’re on is made of molecules that once powered the core of a star - you are riding a star - the seat you’re on is made out of atoms and what are atoms ? Are they solids ? No they’re vibrations - you are riding a black hole
___
Tyler Durden: Fight Club was the beginning, now it's moved out of the basement, it's called Project Mayhem.
___
Spoken Word was the beginning, now it’s moving out of the basement and unto Velibs. It’s called Project Velib-Spoken Word (we’ll find a better name later). Velibs will be our stallions and our flag will be a rolling wheel.

We’ll link hooks to our bikes and labour the jardin du luxem-bourg to plant tomatoes and feed the people
We’ll power our power plants and cycle our way to energy independence by giving free exercise to all fat people
We’ll drive our velibs into office doors and church barriers to break them down - We own the night right ? We’ll help homeless people sleep in churches and empty offices at night
We’ll build a new religion - the Velibers - Our god is movement - And we’ll pray for the wheel the pedal and the holy gear
We’ll bind wifi routers to every bike and get the web to the streets - We’ll jam our bikes in every station - you’ll have random red lights popping out at every stop in a specific pattern that’ll allow to override the system, crack it open and access the script for the traffic lights - jam these as well - and have the government forbid anyone from using a car - we’ll all be back to the wind wheels my friends

___
Tyler Durden: Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned___

Because a Velib ride is not a means to an end - There are no means, there is no end - everything is a beginning - Even the bad velib with a clunky chain (the urban legend) that almost killed many of us taught us how to keep starting - like an eternal green light, the eternal click sound, the eternal go every time you take a bike out